Emotional eating

I had an emotional eating reality check today. I knew I ate when I was bored, but I didn't really know if I had other emotional issues with eating. Today at work our admin told me she was working on my move due to the re-org changes and she wanted to know the name of the group I was moving to. It was all news to me. My boss is on vacation this week, so I can't even ask what is going on. I guess before my boss left, she told our admin to start the paperwork for my move even though supposedly my boss is fighting to keep me in her group. What the heck?!?!?! Why wasn't I told this? Our admin doesn't know any more than to start my move, she doesn't know to what group or which boss. This is crazy. Anyway, back to the emotional eating...the first thing I did, when I heard this and realized that I wouldn't be able to get any answers until Friday when my boss is back from vacation, was to head to the convenience store downstairs and buy almond M&M's. I bought them, but on the way back up stairs I realized what I was doing and why I wanted to eat M&M's and talked myself out of if. I got rid of the M&M's and had some herbal tea instead. But I thought about those M&M's all morning.

Brunch & Shoes

Today I had brunch with a couple of girl friends. I find brunch really hard to have and stay within points. There are so few healthy choices. I did OK though. The menu was a Mexican theme. I ate a bit of everything, just in small portions. It was really nice to get together and have some girl only time. I don't do it enough.
After brunch my husband I were supposed to go shopping for paint. We're having our dining room, living room and kitchen painted. He wasn't in the mood, so I went to the mall and found a great going out of business sale...everything was 90% off. I bought a spring trench coat and a really fun pair of purple faux snakeskin pointy toed pumps. I normally wouldn't consider such a frivolous item that has such limited wearing possibilities, but they were only $8!

Good workout

My upper body is sore today from my weight lifting session yesterday and it feels so good. I haven't been sore in months, so I know I finally got a good weights workout yesterday. Today's cardio was good as well. I was tired after, but I also felt invigorated.
I've discovered my new favorite show. What Not to Wear. I knew that I dressed badly when I was much heavier because I didn't want to bring any more attention to myself, but I realize after watching the show, that I was having the opposite effect. I was making myself look heavier and sloppy. Now I'm so excited to reach my goal weight so I can go buy high heel pointy shoes and fabulous clothes to go with them. When I see women who look like they spent hours getting ready to leave the house, I think I'm glad I'm not high maintenance. But really, I realize many of the 'high maintenance' women are just people who take pride in their appearance. I want to become 'high maintenance', or least be proud and confident of how I present myself. And I would like to be out with my husband and have people think, wow he's got a really nice looking wife.

warm bed or the health club?

It was so hard to get up today and go to the club. Lately I just want to stay in bed and skip the club. I used to look forward to exercising, now I wish I could get fit just laying in bed. But since I can't, I got up and hit the club. I tried to keep my mets around 9 and I was pooped after 20 minutes. I kept going for another 20 minutes but didn't worry about the mets for the rest of my workout. I also managed to do some weights. I really admire the women who are training for triathalons. I read the blog of Heather and wish I had her determination and drive. I don't think I would want to do a triathalon, but I would love to have the energy and drive to train for one.
Maybe some day.

1 pound loss

Finally I lost again. I have been at 173 since December 20. Today, finally, down to 172. Whoohoo! I want to get to my goal before spring. I don't have any spring clothes that will fit and don't want to buy any more new clothes until I reach my goal. I have done some shopping (and boy was it fun) to get some winter clothes that fit. It was so much fun to go into any store I wanted and know that I could buy something that would fit. I even did some shopping at Victoria's Secret. Fun!
I still need to write down my goals for 2006 and start working towards them. I feel like if I don't write them down, I can't fail. I need to work on changing my attitude.

Frat party

Last night I was doing a stretching DVD and when I was done and turned off the DVD there was some show on TV that was horrible. When I noticed what was on, a couple of college age boys were leading a blind folded plus sized college age woman up some stairs. She was going willingly and missed why she would be going any where blind folded. Anyway she got upstairs and was led into a room and on to what seemed like a platform. Once there, the blind fold was removed and she was in a room filled with frat boys who were wearing pig snouts and she was standing a scale that said something about hogs and a sash with her over 200 pound weight was slung over her shoulder. The boys starting make rude noises and of course the girl was totally humiliated. It was some crime show and not a reality show thank goodness. I didn't continue to watch the show, but I was so shocked by the subject. I truely hope things like that really don't happen.

Back on track?

I feel more in control and on my way to being back on track. I have gone to the club the past 4 days and counted points and stayed within my points. I feel like I've moved past the hump. I hope.
We went out for supper last night, which I thought could be a problem, but we went to Outback and since I don't like beef it was easy to eat healthy. Grilled chicken breast, grilled veggies and salad.
Now I want to really bump up my workouts. I have been reading in various magazines about using Mets as a measurement for your workouts. I don't really understand what Mets are, but I'm supposed to work out between 8.1 and 9.5. I watched that metric today while I was on the eliptical and I was at about 8.4 most of the workout. I'm going to try to up the number and workout at a higher intensity. I also want to start taking some classes. I would like to try spinning and some of the other classes offered. My problem with classes is the timing. The morning classes don't start until 6 am or later and I work out from 5 -6 so I can get to work by 7:15. I could do the evening classes, but once I get home from work, I usually just want to stay in. Especially this time of year when it's cold and dark.
I wish I could get my husband to join me exercising. He is a night owl, so he doesn't get to bed until 1 or 2 am and then sleeps until 8 or 9. Because of his schedule, he doesn't get home from work until 7 or 8 and I'm ready for bed by 8:30 or 9 so I can be up at 4:30. We don't have much time together during the week.

My first entry. I hope to use this space as a self help forum. I want to be able to hold myself accountable for meeting my health and fitness goals. I started on a weight loss journey in June of 2005. I've lost 70 pounds so far and hope to lose 25 more. I'm using the weight watchers point system and it all seemed so easy until about a month ago. Over the Christmas weekend I decided that I wasn't going to count points, I was going to eat what I wanted. I did and I don't think I really did too badly. I didn't eat half as much as I would have a year ago and many things didn't really taste as good as they used to. But doing that really triggered something in me and I have been struggling since then. I was feeling really good about myself. I was looking fit and much smaller than last year. But now that I'm struggling to keep myself on track, I look in the mirror and see fat and unhappy again. I haven't gained any weight, but I haven't lost any either. I've been having a hard time getting myself to the club too. I know if I went to the club, the desire to eat would deminish a lot. My husband has also become a less positive influence. For the first several months he was so supportive and helpful. Now he thinks I have lost enough weight and he is no longer being as supportive. He complains that I'm too thin and bony. Which I'm not. According to the BMI charts I am still at a 26.9, which is almost 2 points into the "overweight" section of the chart.
January is almost over and I really haven't set any firm goals for myself. I need to really think about what I want to accomplish this year and set the goals. Then find the desire and determination to work toward them. I've gotten this far, I can't allow myself to fail now.