Time for change

I got laid off today. It was mostly expected. I have until July 21. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Part of me is disgusted that they are treating their loyal employees this way. (we're being replaced by out-taskers). Part of me is sort of excited to change directions. I said a while ago in this blog that I needed a change. I wanted a new job/career. Now is my chance. I got a flyer in the mail today from U of Wisc on-line college....hmmm....should I go back to school? I'm going to send in the postcard for their on-line class catalog.
I'll have to do some serious thinking about what I want to do. I could apply for other jobs at the company, but do I want to work for a company that no longer cares about it's employees? If I look for another job outside the company, I'll want to time it so I will still get my severance. It would be nice to have a week or two off then start a new job and still have my severance check. We could pay off the NYC trip, make some investments and maybe use some for additional home improvements and another trip.
I've only worked for 3 places in my 20+ years in the workforce so I'm not experienced in interviewing. That is what I am most nervous about.
Lots to think about.

Catching up

We stayed an extra day in NYC and I'm so glad we did. We took a boat tour around Manhattan and it was really fun to see the city that way. And I learned a lot about city from the tour guide. And it was really...Hmm...I don't know what the right words are...to see the Statue of Liberty. I was sort of surprised that I felt as emotional as I did when I saw it.
I had a really good time and it was so sweet of Rob to plan it. I had some really bitchy moments though and I felt so bad that I was ruining some of our time there but I couldn't help myself. I really hate that I have so little control over myself sometimes. I went to the doctor last week to discuss my PMS issues. She gave me 3 options. Go on the pill to help the physical symptoms, go on an anti-depressant for the emotional/hormonal imbalance or add more soy to my diet. I would prefer not taking a drug, but I didn't think I would be able to bring myself to drink soy milk or eat soy beans. I decided to try the anti-depressant. I'm nervous about taking such a pill, so I hope it works. I really need to keep my hormones in balance so I can feel more like my old self. Getting old sort of sucks.
I haven't worked out for 2 weeks. Or counted points. I must MUST MUST get back on track.
Our blinds finally were installed on Friday. I really like them.
Our lawn is dead. It's going to be aerated, seeded and fertilized this week. I sure hope it works. It's embarrassing to have such a bad lawn.
We're having a BBQ with friends on Saturday and Mom & Dad and hopefully Lisa and her "Friend" on Sunday. I don't know anything about this friend, Mom just mentioned that I should tell Lisa to invite her friend. I was hoping Elizabeth and Taylor could come too, but E has to work and T is at Johns. I haven't seen T since Christmas.

NYC

We're in NYC for a long weekend trip and it isn't going well.

We arrived Friday late afternoon and I was so tired and headachy that it was hard for me to be excited. We went out for supper to a deli where the sandwiches were $20! I ordered chicken breast, which I thought would be a sandwich but was actually a dry baked chicken breast. Boring and unflavorful. The fries that came with it were good though. Rob had a pastrami and something on rye. I have never had pastrami and it was really good. We walked to Times Square after we ate. Wow. Very crowded and bright and interesting. We saw a nearly naked woman who called herself the naked cowgirl.

Yesterday, I started out excited to be here and ready to explore and have fun. We went to breakfast on our way to take a harbor cruise. Poor Robbie got stomach issues from the breakfast and wasn't feeling very well. We visited the Chrysler building, Grand Central Station and the NYC Library, which oddly had no books that we saw. We then went to the harbor to take our cruise, but ran into a problem with our ticket passes so we needed to come back to the hotel. The cruise wasn't for 3 hours and that seemed like a waste of time to wait for it so we decided to take in today. One the way back to the hotel we walked through a small flea market and Rob actually saw someone he works with. What are the chances of that in a city of millions.

We came to the hotel to rest a bit and decide what we wanted to do next. Rob mentioned a play, which at first I wasn't too excited about, but then after I thought about it for a while seemed like a lot of fun and a very New York thing to do. So we decided to go to Barefoot in the Park. We didn't go to the play. On our way out of the hotel Rob said he didn't really want to go. I really did, but I want him to have a good time so I agreed, let's not go. We went to the Museum of Modern Art. It was pretty cool. I didn't understand what made some if it art, but it was cool to see the campbell soup cans by Andy Warhol and some of Jackson Pollacks stuff and there was some other really nice art too. And some weird art, such as a huge carpet pad cut into strips hanging a wall and a few canvases painted one solid color. We walked to the Apple Store, which wasn't open yet and went into Trump Tower. Then we wandered for a really long time looking for a place to eat. We had Italian. It was OK.

After supper we came back to the hotel and changed clothes to go to the Empire State Building Observatory on the 86th floor. Rob was really excited to go, me not so much. I was very bitchy while we were there. We had to wait in line for at least an hour, which after a very long day of walking and a short night sleep for several nights in row, I was tired and not in the mood to stand around. The view was spectacular. It was incredibly windy and cold out there though.

I really want to today to go better. I am so incredibly tired though from not getting a full nights sleep in a week. I can barely hold my eyes open now, but I can't sleep either. I'm so tired that I feel like I'm going to cry all the time. I even did last night. It's part PMS as well and I just can't control my emotions (cranky, bitchy, nasty, complaining) when I have PMS. I know I'm being terrible, but I can't seem to help myself.

I feel so sad for Rob. He was so excited about the trip and I have been doing nothing but ruining it for him. No wonder he never wants to go on vacation.

What's wrong with me? I'm always saying I want to go someplace and now that we finally did, I'm not enjoying myself.

I'm going to go lay down and see if can cry myself to sleep.