June 12, 2006

I had my meeting this morning and the conclusion is that my old manager and HR screwed up and my March 2005 promotion was never entered into the HR system. So I was given the option to keep my current position or take the severance that was originally offered. And they were really nice and gave me a WHOLE TWO DAYS to decide. I'm leaning toward taking severance and leaving. I had accepted that I was going to need to look for a new job. I know that I don't want to stay where I am, but I think if I decide to keep my job with the intention of finding a new one, I won't do it. If I take severance, I won't have a choice except to look for new job. So, what do I do? Be brave and take a chance and find a new job or play it safe and stay in a job I know longer enjoy going to?
I wish I had a couple weeks to decide. I would like to get a few resumes out and see if I get any interest before deciding. I'm going to ask for at least the rest of the week to decide and hopefully get the weekend as well.
I have a resume basics class on Wednesday and a career assessment on Wednesday as well. I'm not about going to the assessment class.

June 10, 2006

Ugh, I have had a headache since about 2 am and feel sort of nauseous. Just the fun of this months PMS. At least I don't feel bitchy and mean and nasty like last month. The meds are working.
Yesterday, my manager called to tell me that she got some answers about my band level, but she wasn't able to tell much more except that I should be a band 35 and that on Monday I will be presented with some options. I'm curious about the options. She said a would have more options, optionS, plural. I'm guessing one of the options is to stay at the company. I wonder though, if I would keep my current position or if they would find a "comparable" position. I don't really know what other options there would be. My meeting is at 8:00 am Monday. I hope that I am given some time to decide. If I'm offered the chance to keep my job or still take severance, then I have some decision making to do.
I applied for a job yesterday with another company. A friend of mine works there and loves it. I mentioned her name in my cover letter and she said she would talk to HR. I'm not sure what pull she might have since she has only been there a couple months. I'm also not sure the job is really what I would want. The job description had some good things but also some things that made it sound sort of administrative type work. And the company is in St Paul. Not really convenient for me. But it's a smaller company, which I like. I would know someone there and if they paid the same or better, I might take it if it were offered.
On an exciting note, Lisa passed her boards so she is now an RN. I'm happy for her. I hope she finds a job quickly so she can quit her current job.

June 8, 2006

OK, so now I'm pissed. A memo came out at work about the recent job eliminations and it mentioned that band 30's were eliminated. I'm supposed to be a band 35, but somehow I am now a band 30. I assumed that for some unknown reason my old leader changed my band, but I found out that she didn't. I contacted my current leader to find out who did it and when. She didn't get back to me yet. I'm going to fight this. I'm being mistreated and I want to know why and what they are going to do to remedy the situation. I can think of a few thing such as I keep my current position or my release date is extended and I get a larger severance. I scheduled a meeting my leader for Monday, but she hasn't accepted it yet. I may go into work tomorrow and talk to the VP. Or I'll contact HR or the ombudsperson. This is my future they are screwing with and I'm not going to sit back and let them take advantage of me. Of course it's just another BIG reason not to want to work there.
This entire week at around 6pm I get so tired. Right now I would love to lay down and take a nap.

June 7, 2006

Yikes, today I attended an orientation at the management consulting firm that my company hired for displaced employees. They are available to help with resume writing, interview skills etc. We only have 1 month to use the services so I guess I will be missing work at least 1 day a week to attend seminars and meet with the development consultants. After the orientation, I felt scared about looking for a job. I had been excited about it and a little nervous, but now I feel scared about my decision. Maybe I should try to stay at my current company. I guess I'll attend some of the other seminars and see how it goes.

First day back

Today was my first day at work since I got laid off. I had been working from home. I felt like a loser being there. I told 3 people, but only because they flat out asked me. Debra offered to talk to her boss and ask him to find a position for me and one of the directors seemed worried that I would be gone so I'm guessing that he may try to find a way to keep me. Our admin was sad too. I told all 3 three that I didn't think I wanted to stay. Our admin said that the VP of our dept is getting a lot of pressure from above and had been really stressed out and taking it out on the directors. I definitely don't want to stay with kind of atmosphere.
Rob has been very supportive. He isn't panicking like I thought he might. He wants me to do what I think is best for me. I really appreciate that and not feeling pressure to stay at my current company. I'm sure I'll be much happier someplace else.
Tomorrow I have a meeting with a management consultant company to help with resume writing and interviewing skills. I would really like to get my resume up to snuf so I can start applying.
Lisa passed her boards so she is now an RN. Congrats to her. I hope she finds a job quickly.
I counted points today. First time in a month. Today when I was feeling bad and embarrassed about losing my job, I felt bad about how I looked as well. I felt fat and sloppy and yucky.
I went to the doctor a few weeks ago about my horrendous moods and the doctor put me on Celexa. I think it is really helping. I feel much less irritated by everyday annoyances. My period is due soon so that should be the real test. I should remember to ask Rob if he has noticed a difference in my moods and attitude.

Thinking

I went to the club today for the first time in almost a month. It felt so good to work out again. I don't know why I go through these phases of laziness. I haven't counted points either so I will start doing that again too.
Anyway, while I was at the club I finally started to do some thinking about my future. If I decide to stay at my current company it would make everything easier. I wouldn't need to worry about vacation time, health insurance and the myriad of things that would come with changing companies. But if I stay, there is always the possibility that in a few months it wouldn't happen again. The company, at this point, is moving toward a very out-tasked work force. They are methodically working through the entire company and laying people off and replacing them with out-sourced workers. So, I could change jobs, only to be laid off again. And there have been rumors that the severance plan is going to change. I could change jobs, get laid off and get screwed out of severance. It's really not a stable company to work for. But it has it's perks, such as working from home, which I love. It would be hard to have to go into work 5 days a week again.